


Smile Like You’re My Savior

by Vosueh



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (men are kidnapped/raped by the warriors), Alternate Universe - Human, Amazon AU, Amazon Mating Rituals, F/F, Homophobia, I'm all for Amazon Jasper but I adhere to the canon Amazon myths, Jasper is super gay in this, Mutual Non-Con, Prisoner Lapis, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, forced mating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 22:29:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10751100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vosueh/pseuds/Vosueh
Summary: Jasper is a war hero to her tribe, but she is still an Amazon. So when it's time for the warriors to pick mates and ensure their female-only clan doesn't die out, she's forced to join. She passed up on the last few years, but now not even her reputation can help her.She has to mate with a male. And that's the last thing Jasper wants to do.But, backed into a corner and given no other choice, Jasper picks a mate. An androgynous prisoner of war from a neighboring clan seems to be her best bet; Jasper feels that if she's being forced to mate with a man, it should at least be him. He's small and dainty, with short dark hair and piercing navy eyes-- but he's the only man Jasper could imagine herself being with.Probably, perhaps, because he isn't a man.Jasper accidentally picked a woman.





	1. Had To Choose

**Author's Note:**

> The intro to this fic is super short so imma post it with the next chapter.
> 
> Anywho, I know I have like 3 other fics but this has been sitting in my folders too long. I want some Amazon human Jasper but I also want mythologically accurate Amazon Jasper. Minus the whole 'let's cut off our right boob so we'll shoot arrows better' thing. I like 99% that wouldn't work.
> 
> Filled in some logistics of the myth, but other than that I kept with what was given:  
> \- Amazons weren't lesbians. They were a tribe rooted in misandry.  
> \- They lived for war  
> \- They kidnapped men to rape, then waited until they were pregnant to slaughter the men  
> \- They worshiped the moon  
> \- They cut off their right boob because it made their archery better (I'm ignoring this one tho because IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE)
> 
> And for the sake of storytelling I expanded on their society and culture so it's actually functioning. Other than that, hope you enjoy this shitty Amazon human Jaspis AU.

She's thought about it for weeks, and Jasper finally decided that if she was going to choose someone, it was going to be that boy.

Her fellow warriors teased her-- she can’t be serious, can she? The boy was slender, lithe and too delicate to suggest he’s ever done manual labor in his life. Which was ironic, considering he was a prisoner captured by the Amazon’s neighboring tribe, and almost definitely due for a life of labor. Jasper hadn’t the slightest clue what he did to have fallen prisoner, but the boy almost always looked stern and irritated with his captors. It frequently earns him a beating from them, and the Amazon warrior couldn’t help but feel pity from where she looked on from the treeline.

Yet the boy was stronger than he looked. And that was why Jasper picked him.

Even from her distance, she could always make out the purple bruises up the boy’s slender arms, and the dark stain ghosting under his left eye leading around to what Jasper could barely make out as a gash over his cheekbone. All the other prisoners crumbled and begged when their captors laid a hand on them, but not him-- he was strong, and unwavering in sheer will. Yet Jasper’s clan laughed at her choice of men, calling him a weakling that’ll never give her a child worth any merit in this world.

Jasper overtly shivered from where she was, lurking in the treeline. Almost thirty warriors of the Amazon tribe were in wait, needing the cover of night to raid the neighboring tribe for their predetermined men. It was as per tradition, just to keep the race of tall, powerful women warriors from dying out-- although, the system was admittedly very barbaric.

Raids. War-prisoners. Sometimes, just unlucky travelers to the area. If an Amazon woman had marked a man to be her seasonal mate, he is almost certainly fated for a short existence.

First a capture. Then a detainment, never for more than a day or two. Then, the man is tied up by the Amazon’s fellow clanmates, and left in her cabin for her to ravish in the evening. The rules are specific; the Amazon women are a prideful race, and have strict guidelines that they must be the one on top when they bed their prisoners. They hold control over the entire ordeal, and present themselves very aggressively to those who have the misfortune of being their involuntary mate.

Sometimes, it takes weeks. But as soon as the Amazon woman is confirmed to be with child, the nightly ravishments cease. Yet, the selected mate remains detained until her third trimester in the event of a miscarriage (as the war-faring race of women frequently stress themselves to lose pregnancies recurrently), and afterwards he is slaughtered in honor of the woman. His service to her is done. She’ll choose a new mate next time.

But Jasper wasn’t going to think of that. She didn’t wish any harm to that willful, delicate boy… But she needed to choose a mate, and her clan has been growing impatient with her.

If it weren’t for her standing as a war-hero to the Amazon tribe, they would’ve never let her skip so many seasons without a mate. Their leader’s tolerance with her was worn thin, and Jasper’s reputation could only help her so much when she’s doing something as shameful as neglecting her Amazonian duties. Especially as the image of the perfect Amazon warrior-- tall, broad, muscular, powerful… Jasper _has_ to bring a child into this world. She _has_ to birth an almighty daughter to hail honor to the Amazon tribe.

The large woman sighed slightly from where she was, leaned against a damp tree in watch of the stygian navies sinking over the twilight sky. No desire within her wanted a child, and as for a man… the very idea sickened her. There was a curl of discomfort in her stomach whenever she had to think about bedding one. Her more-experienced clan members had boasted that sex with their mate can be quite fun, but whenever they describe the affair of copulation, Jasper feels a bit nauseous.

But she can’t tell them that. This was her duty, and denouncing her role could warrant punishment at this point.

At their leader’s command, the raid was initiated in the veil of night, piercing the still calmness that had wavered in the air with the blunt surge of large, armed women.

The raid itself was a bit of a blur, with the assault of darkness stealing away any certainty. But Jasper knew the boy the second she and a few of her fellow Amazons intruded into the prison longhouse. She could even catch the ethereal glint of faint moonlight dance in his terrified, cerulean eyes as a slip of fabric was forced around his mouth, following a fellow warrior carelessly throwing a woven sack over his head.

When her clanmate glance over to Jasper with a gesture to the boy tucked under her arm, the large woman swallowed a hard lump of guilt down her throat before nodding her confirmation to the older warrior. Yes. That was him.

Her chosen mate. There he was, the boy she wished no harm upon. Hell, in a charming way, she even admired him.

But her tribe was giving her no choice. She _has_ to bed a man. She _has_ to carry an heir in her bloodline for the Amazon race. She _has_ to, because she would be worthless to her tribe if she didn't.

And every part of Jasper wished she could apologized to the boy.

Because if she had to choose someone, it was going to be him.


	2. Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper meets her mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go. Warning: this is super gay.
> 
> This is different from my usual stuff, so I hope it suits you guys.

The sun was dragged across the sky, sitting above the mountains like it was taunting the world with the threat of twilight. Despite the billows of orange and pink clouds smearing across the sky like watery paint on a cerulean canvas, the tribe’s village was thrown into dramatic shadows from what little sunlight hit them through the pines, leaving most of the residential cabins to be striped with jagged solar patches of light.

Jasper leaned tensely against her neighbor’s home, folding her arms over the front of her broad chest to hide how on edge she was. Not to mention the looks she was getting-- out of the corner of her eye, she could see her fellow clanmates laundering around, snickering to one another. Without even straining her ears to listen, Jasper could guess what they were talking about. They all saw the boy she picked from the raid the night before. They all knew what would happen tonight. They all knew this was her first man.

At this very moment, said boy was being restrained in her cabin while she waited, tied down by an experienced Amazon woman who’s already done what Jasper was about to do tonight.

With a deep breath, she let herself close her eyes, and tried to not think about what she was going to do to that poor boy. Her more experienced clanmates have insisted that copulation only hurts the males when the Amazons treats them rough, which was most often how the affair went down. Tradition dictates that the woman leads, and keeps herself on top during the ordeal; with the large size and heavy weight the Amazons are known for, it’s not uncommon for their mates to be seen limping the next morning with dark bruises marring their hips and thighs.

Jasper shivered. She didn’t want to hurt that boy, nor did she want him inside her. Mentally, she told herself she could probably go soft enough to keep him from getting hurt. After all, Jasper knew there was no way she was going to lose herself or get carried away, so hopefully that firm control she’ll have will help spare the boy from injury.

“You've picked a feisty one, Jasper. Hopefully he'll bring you a daughter with the same fiery attitude.”

The experienced warrior exiting Jasper’s cabin caught her by surprise, hurrying to straighten up and downplay her nerves. But the flash of momentary concern on Jasper’s face was mistaken for confusion, and the older warrior presented her reasoning for calling the boy so difficult. Onyx lift her forearm to Jasper, showing a reddish ring on her skin indented with teeth marks.

“He bit you?” Jasper spoke with just a bit of pity on her voice, knowing the experienced Amazon probably wouldn’t have treated him very nicely for it. Onyx chuckled deeply, like it was as meaningless as an ant biting her, and she gave a cross of her arms over her broad body.

“Don’t worry, I gagged him for you. Also gave him a good knock on the head for it, so don’t worry if he seems a bit dazed.”

Swallowing back the rise of guilt, Jasper gave a slow nod of her head. So much for making sure he didn’t get hurt.

When Onyx saw that she was glancing off toward her cabin with a flood of emotions swimming in her golden eyes, the experienced warrior flashed Jasper a sympathetic smile.

“First times are tough, so it’s fine to feel a bit nervous. Just remember to stay above him, and make sure his seed goes inside you.” Although Onyx set a supportive hand over the other Amazon’s shoulder and rubbed it in a proud manner, Jasper gave a little shiver at the disgusting mental picture. Nonetheless, Jasper kept her expression as neutral as possible, unwilling to convey any weakness while her lips softly parted with a few words of question to the experienced warrior.

“I heard it hurts. And that... there could be blood.” The voice that carried her concerns sounded nothing like Jasper’s. The battles she’s seen and the lives she’s taken should’ve amounted to a callious warrior, unfazed by blood or pain; yet, here she was, sounding like a child whining over pain that’s yet to come. But she couldn't help it, Jasper felt disgusted at the idea of going through this.

But Onyx had not the slightest of worry on her face from Jasper’s fears, and instead offered the only comfort she could.

“It doesn’t always hurt. Don’t worry if you have to warm-up first before you start; when your body wants it, it goes easier.” With another understanding rub on Jasper’s shoulder, she released the warrior to her duties, leaving Jasper alone with a dozen idle bystanders awaiting for her to retire to her cabin for the night.

Those powerful golden eyes that’ve seen a myriad of wars and victories couldn’t help but shyly shut tight, fearful that their pride will be dulled from the anxiety filling up her irises, swallowing her pupils down to pinpoints. With a hesitant draw of air, Jasper rolled her shoulders back in a intimidating manner and tugged the edge of her blouse down to smooth it over the front of her body. In the last hour, Jasper been in her loose nightwear, as was much of the other Amazon women in the village. However, only now did Jasper feel her attire was unsatisfactory and distasteful; is she really going to make her first impression with her mate like this? Most all of the other Amazons do, from what she hears, but nothing screams intimidating about calf-length trousers and a loose night blouse.

She could feel all the eyes on her. Wondering why she was taking so long. Wondering if the legendary war-hero was actually going to bed that tiny, weak-looking boy.

Jasper could feel their doubt.

And perhaps it was that doubt that made her sigh, twist the knob of her cabin door, and escape the judgement of those questioning, mocking eyes.

Hardly an ounce of moonlight was filtering through her cabin, and she lacked any inclination to light a candle or two for visibility. The cabin was small, just consisting of a mainroom and a short hallway leading to her bedroom, with a bathroom door splicing the wall between it. Yet suddenly, Jasper never felt like her home was so large; down that hallway was the boy she had chosen for her mate. Bound onto her bed, and presumingly gagged from biting Onyx when she was restraining him. All tied down like a present.

But Jasper didn’t see it as a present. There was a knot in her stomach, and every swallow in her mouth barely kept her anxiety down her throat. She really didn’t want this.

As if this was just like every other night she retired to her bedroom, Jasper strided through the hallway with a hurried step, and opened her bedroom door before she could convince herself not to. And when she opened the door, she saw him.

He was beautiful. The moonlight brought out a gleam in his eyes that Jasper knew was fear, but chose to admire it anyway. Although his arms were tied behind him to the headboard of Jasper’s bed, she still watched him squirm upon her entrance, tugging on his restraints and muffling against the cover over his mouth. Jasper tried not to look down when his struggle bunched his prisoner tunic up his leg, and gratitude swelled up in her chest that it was too dark to make much out.

Not dark enough to pretend she couldn’t see the bruises on his face, though.

Guilt consumed Jasper’s minuscule gratitude in a heartbeat. He was so terrified. Those ethereal, blue eyes were wide with so much terror.

“I suppose you already know what we do with our prisoners. I can’t imagine anything else that could bring such fear to your eyes.” Any wish Jasper previously had to appear intimidating was crumbling away, and she gently sat on the side of the bed to tenderly brush a stray lock of hair from the boy’s petrified eyes. When her hand raised to meet his skin, his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation to be hit, but he felt nothing more than her large fingers ghost over his cheek and wipe his face from any stray hairs.

Jasper’s golden eyes soften, taking in his delicate features.

“You’re so beautiful. The dark color of your hair almost looks blue... It reminds me of the ocean at night.” With a gentle, endearing smile, Jasper gave another tender stroke down his cheek. But the fear in his eyes wasn’t comforted; rather, it melted into confusion.

“Ha, didn’t expect me to act so nice...? Don’t worry. I didn’t either.” With a idle inhale, Jasper filled her lungs up with as much air as possible, hoping it’ll carry away her nerves when she exhales. But instead, when the air released from her lungs, the knot in her stomach only felt tighter, and her anxiety wasn’t dulled in the slightest.

She could hear the boy muffling against the slip in his mouth again, and his brow creased to convey the urgency of his quick, scrambled speech.

“Settle down, I’m not going to hurt you. I figured it’s better for only one of us to be in pain than both.” Jasper’s words only muddled his desperate, navy eyes more. And although her words were quite loose without context, Jasper wasn’t going to explain that she had no intentions on getting herself wet for this. No matter how she imagines it, there's no way she could see herself being into this enough to get aroused. At the very least, she’ll be sure to spare him from pain so that she’ll be the only one suffering tonight.

She leaned back and took another deep breath. When Jasper tilted her head down to him again, she found the confusion haven’t left. Those desperate navy eyes were staring at her in anticipation and silence.

“I promise it won’t hurt…” Squeezing her golden eyes shut for a few painful moments, Jasper hastily reached a hand onto his leg, and began to push up his inner thigh and under his tunic. Immediately, those beautiful eyes flooded with terror again, and he began screaming against the fabric in his mouth. The noise sounded so horrid and distorted, and Jasper leaned over him to hold behind his head in a comforting way, despite the corner of her mouth twitching into a frown and her eyes watering up.

“I-I’m sorry… I just need you ready for me. Please don’t look at me like that…”

Erratically, he thrashed violently like a wounded animal, desperately pulling away from the hand closing in between his legs. With little effort, the massive Amazon warrior overpowered his dying resistance, holding him firm in place and gently hushing him as her hair rolled over her shoulder and framed the two of them in a curtain of beige.

The edges of the gag in his mouth grew visibly wet, and the screaming morphed into choked sobs with how helpless he was to stop the warrior. It burrowed such a deep hole of misery in Jasper’s chest, and she felt her hand tremble a bit, moving slower and slower the further she made it up his thigh. Vaguely, she saw a raindrop fall onto the boy’s cheek, and Jasper wondered where the rain was coming from.

It took her a moment to realize it was because she was crying as well.

“I-I heard it shouldn’t hurt-- _Please_ , don’t cry. I-It shouldn’t hurt you. Please, it shouldn’t hurt…”

The palms of her hands were sweltering from when it touched his skin, but her fingertips were as numb as ice. Jasper knew his member must be hard for it to go inside her, and she held back a disturbed shutter thinking about what she was about to touch. And then, with every dignity and pride she could muster as an Amazon woman, she pushed up to cup his member.

The boy made a strangled, defeated noise in the back of his throat, and tossed his head back as if he couldn’t bear to look down at himself and see the warrior touching him there. And for a few moments, Jasper rubbed her hand absentmindedly around, with her nerves too frazzled to properly register what she was feeling.

Or what she _wasn’t_ feeling, that is.

There was no member there. Rather, it felt like two lips with soft fleshy frills peaking out, crowned with a tuft of hair. It felt cushiony to the touch, with how ample the outer lips were.

As soon as Jasper’s mind finally caught up to the reality of what she was feeling, her hand yanked out from under the tunic in a heartbeat, audibly gasping at the realization. Nevertheless, it had her pupils momentarily blown in unintentional arousal. The knot in her stomach dropped to her groin, heating up between her thighs in response to touching the first vulva that wasn’t her own. Anxiety triumphed over any arousal greeting Jasper, however, and soon her words finally broke the hesitant silence of revelation.

“YOU’RE A FEMALE!!” Straightening back just to slouch into herself, Jasper cupped her mouth in modification. Of course it was a girl. Of course the only man she could convince herself to mate with was actually female. It was disgusting enough that her sexual desires were snuffed out from the very idea of men, yet ignited whenever she thought about the female body… but choosing a woman as her mate? Jasper’s tribe would slaughter the poor girl if they found out, and shun Jasper if she tried to stop them.

The girl began muffling against her restraints again, although with less fear and more confusion. Streams of tears-- Jasper’s included-- still decorated her flushed cheeks, and those slender thighs were already squeezing shut defensively in case Jasper tried touching her again. Panicking for an explanation, the warrior hurriedly gripped behind the girl’s head at the knot binding around her mouth, and ripped more so than undid the fabric. When the slip gagging her dropped and slid off, the terrified girl began panting for air, with the anxious warrior sitting by her side awaiting her to gather enough breath to speak.

“You… thought I was… a boy!?” Although the fear had yet to ease from her navy irises, the slender girl sounded borderline livid that she was kidnapped over a gender confusion.

Jasper knit her brow, in partial sympathy and in partial confusion.

“You have short hair! I’ve never seen a woman keep her hair above the shoulders...” Although the justification was weak, Jasper was still puzzling over how’d she mistaken the girl for a man in the first place. With the baggy loose-fitting attire and the malnourishing diet of most prisoners, it was easy for the girl’s thin body to appear androgynous, though admittedly on the feminine side; topped that with the short hair and the long distance Jasper has always watched her from, and a set-up for confusion was inevitable. All hope was gone, now that the first man she thought she might be attracted to was just a confirmation of Jasper’s distaste for the male gender completely.

“Of course you haven’t seen a woman with short hair!! You barbaric Amazons keep yours wild and long, like a bunch of savage _animals_.” The fear was most definitely faded from her eyes now, and the seething girl tugged at the restraints pinning her to the bed’s headboard.

“Release me, brute!! Go find some other poor soul who's _actually_ a man!!” By the time she finished scolding the massive warrior, the girl blinked off the last remnants of tears obscuring her vision, and realized that the Amazon was slouching into herself, hiding behind a cover of her thick, pale locks of hair. And although she did not know her, and that this was the first time they’ve been before one another, the girl was able to realize the warrior was broken up over the revelation. Rather than shake with anger, that massive body slouched pathetically into itself, making the girl forget for a minute she was staring at one of the fearsome Amazon warriors of the forest.

So slightly, as if the warrior was holding back an earthquake of pain, her heavy breath quivered on her lips like tectonic plates on the verge of splitting open with all the tension she’s been carrying. The small girl ran her eyes nervously along the warrior’s body awaiting the catastrophe, watching the faint pale stripes and bands on her discolored skin like faultlines in the earth.

“I… I-I don’t _want_ a man.” On the tremble of her lips, Jasper confessed her dirty secret, and felt the shame of her unorthodox desires moulder at her reputation as a renowned warrior. The words made the slender girl blink softly, mouth slightly agape with a breathless huff. The catastrophe wasn’t an earthquake. It was a sinkhole, caving in on itself from the hollowness it hid beneath the surface.

The rage in the girl’s eyes filmed over with sorrow, and she tried to pull up on her bound wrists to lean against the headboard.

“Do you… not like men?”

They were strangers. And yet, Jasper couldn’t help but find her lips moving before her mind could, already trusting the small girl with her treasonous secret. It was like Jasper just needed someone to confide in, and there was a good chance that that someone would be dead come morning once Jasper’s clan finds out she picked a girl. It was like hiding a secret in box that's about to be buried in the earth. No one will know.

The warrior shook her head, feebly at first, then more erratic when she felt how good it was to finally admit it.

“You don’t understand, it’s not in the way my clan dislikes men. I-I just don’t _like_ them, and I don’t like the idea of picking one… Stars, I can’t even stand the idea of _mating_ with one…”

Jasper sighed, raising from her hands and tossing her head over to the girl to see if she had disgust in those beautiful eyes. But instead, they shimmered with sympathy, and the warrior was surprised how kind her voice sounded when she responded.

“ _Oh_... I-I get it. I, uh, actually know what that is.”

It was like being told there's a reason the wind blows and the sun shines; there was actually some sort of explanation this charming, willful girl can give her. Intrigued that the girl was suggesting she would tell, Jasper leaned forward tensely, sounding out a stressed creak of the bed. The slender girl did not seem comforted by the desperate glint in the warrior’s golden eyes, laced with enough hunger to consume what little strength the small girl had.

Nevertheless, she broke their eye contact so she could muster her reply.

“--But, I won't tell you. Not until you untie me.”

Low like an animal, Jasper growled in frustration and pushed up and towered above the small girl, aggressively digging her thick fingers under the ties binding her to the headboard and tearing them effortlessly. The heavy locks of beige hair fell over the girl’s face while Jasper did so, sticking to her wet cheeks and making her jerk her head to the side with a gasp at how awfully close the warrior was. It was like the weight of the entire world stood above her, and if that warrior wanted to, she could drop her heavy weight and crush her. But she didn't.

When the shreds of fabric showered down around the small girl, she timidly sat up with a whine, not enjoying her freedom long when a large hand grabbed underneath her chin and used the lack of restraints to tug her right beneath the warrior’s piercing eyes.

“You got what you wanted. Now tell me: what's _wrong_ with me?”

The hunger was encircling the spindles of gold in those sharp, deadly eyes. They hinted at something dark if the warrior wasn't met with a satisfactory answer-- perhaps it was a lurking threat of torment, of the warrior jamming her hand forcefully between the fragile girl’s thighs once more and manually invading her body to make her scream the answer. Or perhaps, she would remind her of the savage reputation her race earned, and tear open the tenderest parts of the girl’s legs, arms, and stomach to leave her lifelong scars and disfigurement for every passing moment she withheld what the warrior wanted to hear.

The fear of the situation returned full-force, and the outspokenness of commanding the warrior to untie her began to sound like a catalyst for the warrior’s impatience. The lithe girl swallowed, feeling the last bit of defiance and anger drop into her stomach from it, and hushed out a pleasing response in order to avoid luring those hungry eyes to act upon their obvious frustrations.

“I-It’s nothing wrong! Some women just aren't attracted to men, it's not a bad thing--” when her eyes timidly wandered up, seeing if the hunger for a satisfying answer was sated, she found speckles of distaste in the warrior's eyes. As if she was just trying to talk her way out of the warrior’s wrath, and that this former prisoner actually knew nothing about the source of Jasper’s affliction. Flooding her lungs with chilly air, the small girl pressed on to prove her knowledge.

“You like women, don't you?? Like… _sexually_ , that is. You think about them like that.” Rambling out fresh information that has been otherwise unspoken or suggested by the warrior, the small girl hoped her assumption is correct. She hoped it wasn’t just a twisted manifestation of the Amazon’s misandry, fermenting into a crooked perspective that led her to say she didn't like men.

Finally, the hunger in those golden eyes dipped off into the black of her pupils, dancing along her iris spindles with a new emotion that the smaller girl wasn't level-headed enough to decipher.

“Think about them like _what_?”

The warrior’s overpowering voice had a desperate, sensitive edge to it. There was a phantom of that mysterious emotion the girl couldn't quite name in those golden eyes. Nevertheless, the reply didn't suggest a rejection to her statement, but merely an elaboration. And she was quick to please the warrior’s request.

“Like… their bodies and how it would be like to touch them. Instead of thinking about men, do you…” with numb fingers, the girl dug into her palms to rouse enough willpower in herself to speak her next words, knowing they could very well cause the warrior’s eyes to swelter in rage dare they are too forward-- or worse, wrong.

“Do you like to think of women when you… uh, touch yourself?” The tender pinnacle her words sat upon swayed hauntingly, threatening what could happen if the girl had a completely wrong assumption about the warrior all together. Yet, the Amazons have a infamously narrow and strict culture, with unforgiving punishments for those who do not abide by the lines they draw. Perhaps, the warrior simply never heard of the concept of homosexuality before, and wouldn’t crush the girl for proposing the scandalous suggestion that she touches herself to the thought of women. At this point, the girl didn’t want to think of the lurid price of being wrong.

“When I touch myself… Between my thighs?” The genuineness of the question caught the smaller girl off-guard, surprised that the warrior needed complete confirmation on what she was suggesting. As if any misinterpretation could ruin her.

“Yeah? Like do you like to… think that it’s another woman touching you there? Or maybe, think about what it would be like to touch _them_ there…?”

Those dark pupils drained from those golden spindles again, festering and messy. They were swelling with that unreadable emotion again, exploding the horizon of the warrior’s pupils to go supernova within her own eyes and swallow the gold up from her irises. Why were her pupils getting so big?

It was distracting enough that the small girl hardly noticed in the dim lighting of the cabin that the warrior had a blooming scarlet hue rising to her cheeks.

“Like how I touched you?” Instead of a threatening edge in her voice, Jasper’s words rolled off her tongue like dew that had been pooling in a leaf’s basin for too long. Awaiting the moment to finally roll over the brim, too enthusiastically for it to know where it’s going to land.

And, ever so softly, the small girl saw a twitch of an endearing smile on the other’s lips, as if the warrior was filled with delight that the other girl was suggesting the touch could be something she was allowed to enjoy. Like it wasn’t wrong for her to love how soft and warm it felt to touch the slender girl between her thighs, and that it wasn't bad for Jasper’s mind to wander off with her undeniable wishes for the smaller girl to ask to be touched there again, to tell Jasper she likes it…

“How _you_ touched me wasn’t right.” The girl spat back like venom, with her anger clawing up from her stomach and leaving a trail of acid up her throat in the process. Despite the danger there was to upsetting an Amazon, there wasn’t a second that the lithe girl allowed the warrior to think what she did was okay.

Blinking down the overgrown size of her pupils, the warrior’s endearing smile melted off into a frown. But not of outrage; the plump flesh of her bottom lip trembled, as if she was hurt that the intimate touch was something the other girl didn’t like.

“B-but you said it’s not wrong for me to like women like that! I-I don’t understand…”

The hint of sorrow in the warrior’s voice allowed the girl’s rage to kindle, making it that much easier to forget the strength and fear the Amazons usually radiate.

“You didn’t _ask_ if you could touch me! It’s not wrong for you to wanna touch women, but it _is_ wrong to touch somebody without permission!!” Knowing that rape was practically the only way the Amazons keep their race going, the smaller girl knew that sexual consent must be a foreign concept to the warrior. It didn’t surprise her that the Amazon failed to consider her consent into the equation; however, it did come as a shock that the warrior’s eyes filled with deep hurt over hearing her touch was something inherently wrong unless she received permission.

If her pupils had swallowed her irises moments before, then they were now spitting them back out. Almost in repulsion, finally recognizing why her actions were bad and unwanted.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you-- I thought that was the one thing I could ensure.” True regret entwined with Jasper’s words, and she bowed her head as if her eyes couldn’t look up from the bunches of bedding that was peeking from her clenched fists. Despite never wanting to hurt her since the moment Jasper chose the girl as her mate, she still ended up doing just that. “I-I never touched somebody before, but I thought as long as I was soft and gentle, I wouldn’t cause any pain. Please, I-I _really_ didn’t mean to hurt you…”

The small girl sighed, and while it carried the release of her lungs, it didn't yet stomp out the fire of rage sweltering in her. It contrasted with the chilly air around her, numbing her fingers and toes but leaving her chest hot and alight.

“It’s fine if you didn’t understand, just… please don’t do it again.” Squeezing her thighs shut at the thought, the small girl sucked in a heavy breath with a violent shiver. The warrior kept her head down, and left the air silent for a few moments; it was almost like she was still coming to terms with why what she did was wrong. When her head slowly dragged up to met the smaller girl’s eyes, that strange, unreadable emotion was pooling in her irises below the surface of sorrow. Only now with the contrast of misery in those golden eyes, the lithe girl was able to deduced the hidden emotion wasn't a cruel, awful one. But that was all she could tell for now.

Her rage cooled off even more. And without its warmth, the girl shivered.

“Can I hold you?” When the warrior's voice barely ghosted past those soft sorrowful lips, the smaller girl gave a visible startle, and enticed Jasper to stutter out a more formal inquiry. “I-I mean, can I have your permission to hold you in my arms? I… I won't hold you to consequence if you say no.”

Like a child getting their hands on a new word, Jasper was already enthusiastically exercising her comprehension of consent. And although she probably didn't realize that the consent to embrace someone was trivial in comparison to other engagements, the lithe girl blessed her with a small, sweet smile. Perhaps the warrior was honest that she had no desire to wish harm upon her. And while the last thing the girl wanted was to be closer to that intimidating woman, she would rather have a tamed beast in her arms than a feral, unruly one outside of them.

But even then, a beast was a beast. And with the girl’s newfound knowledge of the warrior’s desire for women, the request hinted at darker things it could lead to. For all she knew, the warrior could be trying to take babysteps towards sticking her hand between the other’s thighs again.

“I’ll say yes, but only if you tell me why you want to.” The words were another barter, as if the small girl still actually had grounds to reason with the warrior. Quite honestly, the Amazon could've taken every little thing the girl tried to keep out of her reach. But she didn't.

That strange shine in her golden eyes parted through some of the residue of sorrow. Instead, prospect and excitement took their place, and the small girl found that it complemented the mysterious emotion in her golden eyes winsomely. Whatever that elusive feeling was, it was something that looked better decorated with eagerness than gloom.

“I… don't know why I want to. But you're shivering, and you’re really small.” Those massive, muscular arms opened up in what appeared to be an invitation. Yet, the warrior could probably break a deer’s neck in those arms, so the lithe girl hesitated as her eyes traced the discolored bands and stripes adorning the warrior’s arms.

Those plump lips on the Amazon spread out to another soft smile, and the locks of heavy beige hair shifted on the front of her chest when she cocked her head to the side. “Come on, I’m much warmer than you. You’re stuck sharing this bed with me tonight anyways, so wouldn’t you rather not be cold?”

Swallowing down the obvious (and perfectly reasonable) fears of the warrior, the small girl straightened up her back and made a pitiful huff. Even though the situation was strange and her surroundings were new, she was forgetting she was still a prisoner. The switch of hands means nothing, and if her place was suppose to be that of a Amazon’s male mate, then laying back on the bed in the warrior’s arms seemed to be the best opportunity she had for a quick release from her encapture. If the warrior liked her enough, she could hope this will be the only night she must spend in her arms, and serve her role for the night by keeping the warrior company.

But it could be worse. The Amazon could be forcing her to fulfill all the burdens of being her mate, and the girl overtly shivered again at the thought of that large hand slotted up between her thighs again, taking what the warrior had been promised tonight by her clan. A good first time with a subdued partner, tied down and unable to resist the warrior.

Yet for whatever reasons, her interests were not of that sort. Those golden eyes shimmered in content just to have the girl with her tonight, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the fact she was female was the source of the immense disregard the Amazon had with proper mating protocol.

Another violent shiver zipped under the small girl’s skin. Did the warrior not even want to have her first time tonight? Was she merely trying to follow the infamously strict culture of her clan, and force herself to accept that she was going to have to rape a man in accordance with her society’s traditions...?

She ignored what the outcome could’ve been if she was male. Rather, hastily like a wave crashed against the shore, the lithe girl leaned forward, turning her head and pressing her cheek and body against the radiating warmth of the massive warrior. It felt so good when two arms closed around her, noticeably loose as if to not cause harm, yet squeezing in enough to generously share her heat with the smaller body.

No more words were spoken that night. They were still strangers, not even aware of one another’s names. Yet, they both had a terrible weakness the other could easily exploit, and that danger is what sparked the odd sense of closeness they ignited with each other as they eventually collapsed onto the bed in one another’s arms.

The warrior could have the girl slaughtered over a gender misidentification.

And the girl could have the warrior exiled for harboring such treasonous desires for women.

Yet their stalemate was the warmest of embraces, tense and taut at first, but unraveling with one another as the night carried on and their sleepiness preyed upon them. Small, thin legs tangled with the larger, muscled ones. The blanket of thick hair the warrior wore over her shoulders was now a blanket for them both, with their skin tones and upper bodies peaking through the streaks of beige tangled all around them. Like in a nook made just for her, the girl settled against the curve of the warrior’s body, feeling the other’s chin rest upon her head.

They were in a dangerous stalemate. That was the last thought that crossed both of their minds when sleep finally took them under.

They were nothing more than strangers in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look guys, I can actually start a story without rape. Isn't that amazing.
> 
> Jokes aside, this fic and my other new one probably won't be updated until I finally post the last chapter to Not Okay (idmio;imiyr). This is a big jump from my other three, so I'd love to hear what you guys think <3


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